When Your Mind and the Mirror Hijack Your Body Image
- Lisa Dorfman, LMHC, RD
- May 20
- 3 min read
Have you ever woken up in the morning, looked in the mirror and said…
"My teeth are crooked; my nose is too big."
"I hate my body. I want better abs."
"My arms are soft and hang."
"Nothing looks good on me; I don't want to go out today."
These are just real-time comments from my clients when the mirror speaks to them.
As a Licensed Therapist and Registered Dietitian who has worked with body image
issues and eating disorders for more than four decades, I've worked with thousands of
beautiful human beings, clients ages 3 to 93—from children to Olympians, award-
winning actors and actresses to college students and seniors who have expressed
feeling bad about themselves when they look in the mirror.
If you think this might sound like you, ask yourself:
Do you have feelings of shame, anxiety, and self-consciousness about your body?
Do you focus excessively on a minor flaw in appearance?
Do you see yourself as unattractive or call yourself ugly?
Do you fear that other people can see your so-called deformity?
Do you constantly compare your appearance with others?
Do you try a dozen outfits on and/or constantly groom and look at yourself in the mirror?
Do you pursue or dream about cosmetic procedures or surgery to correct the flaws you
see?
Do you seek reassurance from others on your appearance?
Do you avoid going out to any optional social engagements?
Do you isolate, feel depressed, and feel poorly about other aspects of yourself as you
look in the mirror?
You're not alone if you have answered yes to any of the questions.
Studies suggest 40-60% of elementary school girls (ages 6-12) are concerned about
their bodies, weight, or about becoming fat. Rates among LGBTQIA+ youth are 87%
who are dissatisfied with their bodies. Even competitive athletes are at risk, with up to
85% of college athletes reporting maladaptive eating and weight control behaviors such
as bingeing, excessive exercise, dieting, vomiting, and abusing weight loss
supplements to manage weight and body image issues.
Why does your reflection tell a story that needs to be heard?
If this sounds like you, and your mirror is unkind and distorts the way they see yourself,
stops you from enjoying your day, your friends, yourself, and life, it's time to go beyond
the mirror and understand what prevents you from living life to the fullest.
Why pick on the body? It's an easy target. Your body is the first thing you see when you get up and the last person you know when you head to bed.
Trauma, physical injury and chronic illness often plays a role in contributing to poor body
image; feeling like the body has betrayed itself, especially when the trauma is related to
something physical like an assault. While there are several triggers, yours are unique to
you, whether family influenced them, friends, social media, a coach, or an unrealistic
expectation you created.
It often starts at an early age, as young as 3, according to the American Psychological
Association, and for various reasons. It can start at home with parents expressing their
feelings about their bodies or by making comments about others, such as "oh, I overate
at dinner and I feel bloated, I'll just fast tomorrow" to "look at the gut on that guy, should
they really be ordering nachos and beer at the game?" Heads up, the kids listen and
watch our actions from a very young age.
By the time we are 5 years old, kids start to internalize feelings about their bodies and
express concerns about weight and shape. When these feelings morph over time and
become an obsession, they can also lead to disordered eating behaviors.
Once a bad image, always a bad image?
If there is a "cure" for poor body image and low self-esteem, it starts with changing
thoughts, perceptions, attitudes, feelings, and behaviors about one's physical
appearance.
My treatment approach is holistic, starting with addressing the root cause through
traditional talk therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) , Eye Movement
Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Trauma Incident Reduction (TIR) ,
Psychoeducation, and Integrative and Functional Nutrition Therapy, which can include blood testing for nutrigenomic influences, dietary analysis for deficiencies and excesses,
and optimal meal planning to empower clients with nutrition and ensure that the food as
fuel side is rock solid.
Poor body image sobriety includes accepting one's body and having positive support
from caregivers, peers, and society. It also involves surrounding oneself with positive
people and eliminating influencers, whether from social media or your social life, who
make you feel any less than the beautiful human being that you are.
To schedule a Free Body Image session with Lisa Dorfman, please visit our scheduling page.
Resources:
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